I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
