if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Randomize
