Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
