Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
