Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
