I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize