There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
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