You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
