in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
