I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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