why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Randomize
