I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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