Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
