All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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