Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
