I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
