The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize
