so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
