OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Randomize
