I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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