I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
why is half of my head shaved?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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