If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
