if you like me you must not know who I am
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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