can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
