I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
