It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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