I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Randomize
