i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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