I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
