i think i have two assholes
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
