Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize