Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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