Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
this is an emotional support booty call
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
