i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
