Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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