Already got asked if we're dating
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
