Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
