Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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