I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
