She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Randomize
