isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
