Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
