Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
He felt like a one man threesome
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
