She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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