I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize