I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize