just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
