When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
