I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
i drank out of a bidet.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
