I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
