I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
