Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
