dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
