addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Randomize
