I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
