grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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