I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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