Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I got inside last night via doggy door
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
