you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Randomize
