I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
