glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Randomize