the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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