worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize